Why do some girls now days call their boyfriends "daddy"? Mainly when they are talking sexy or trying to be sexual. Usually the word "daddy" is referring to your father but its usually used to indicate when someone is in charge or the boss. Well that's usually the meaning for some girls in the "bedroom". The girls in this category could use this because they adapted it meaning by hearing it being played in a song or a movie. We as a society pick up on new words all the time but however this word is usually used during sex or some kind of sexual act.
Is it males like to be called "daddy" because they want to be known for their authority and dominance? These select males who like to get called "daddy" could because they are into the whole dominance and submissive thing. However the girl could as well like to submit to a male authority figures. If some girls call their significant other "daddy" because of dominance, this shows us that dominance between a male still exist. This shows that these select few men like to be dominate over their female significant other.
However one could argue what is so bad or odd about calling your man "daddy", whats the difference when you call your man "baby" (does that mean you are refereeing to a baby?) or when you call your man "pumpkin" does that mean you are refereeing to him as a vegetable? The word "daddy" could just be another word we came up with like those for instance. Personal experience my grandmother calls my grandfather daddy and he calls her mamma. Which I know is a different topic, however its the same idea.
As I read a few articles and such over this topic I came upon a thing called DDig community which freaked me out in all honesty. DDig stands for Daddy Dom/little girl, which freaks me out and gives me the jitters. These men in this community usually attend in the ideal of "taking care of their littles" which is meaning to provide discipline and sexual toys. The so called littles "girl" in relationship provides a innocence to the relationship. Meaning the man is dominate over the woman. The DDIg community thrives through Tumblr and blogs. I provide you a few links down below. Far warning some people may find there disturbing and weird as I did. I just wanted to provide examples.
https://www.ddlgforum.com/
http://www.ddlginfo.com/
Dom Vs. Sub: Gender Neutral or Gender Suggestive?
ReplyDeleteAgain, I couldn't get the website to let me post my own blog post, so I'll be filling it out in the comments section.
When many people think of a dominant/submissive relationship, the first image that comes to mind is Christian in 50 shades of Grey. While this is a terrible representation of what a dominant/submissive relationship is supposed to look like, thats not the point of this post. The question that came to my mind was is the role of dominant or submissive truly gender neutral, or is it in fact gender suggestive? While I did say that 50 shades of grey is a terrible representation, we'll use that as an example. In the movie, it is Christian, the male protagonist, who is shown as the dominant in the relationship. In the movie, Christian did say that he used to be the submissive for the older woman. However, that piece of Christian Grey is never shown. It is my belief that the movie would have been received very differently had Christian been the submissive in the relationship. This dichotomy of dom vs. sub may have its roots way back in ancient greece and ancient rome, where if a man was seen as submissive he was seen as effeminate. It seems as though that view has been carried through into the modern day. Due to this viewpoint, some people may argue that the dominant vs. submissive relationship is gender suggestive, that the man must be dominant and the woman submissive. However, there are many examples where this is just simply not the case. Female dominatrix's are a popular group across the world. While the men may not openly advertise that they enjoy being dominated, it does not mean they do not have that preference. Another point that can be argued is that in many cases, the dominant/submissive relationship can be fluid. The prevalence of switches (people comfortable being dominant or submissive) shows that people may be becoming more comfortable with themselves, their partners, and their own sexual preferences. It is my belief that dominant/submissive is becoming more gender neutral than what it used to be. On a different note, I'm curious as to why we put so much stock in what people enjoy sexually. What people enjoy sexually should remain their personal business unless they make it otherwise. If you want to be dominant, then be dominant. If you want to be submissive, then be submissive. It is our own personal preference what role we fulfill, gender be damned.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominance_and_submission
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201206/dominant-or-submissive-paradox-power-in-sexual-relations
I think this is a highly relevant topic that definitely needed to be addressed.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the whole "daddy kink" ties into "pedophile culture", which I was just recently exposed to this month. What I'm typing may be a stretch, but just listen. Pedophilia may seemingly be detested by the masses, however, if we deconstruct our culture, pedophilic desires are quite common.
Women are expected to maintain extreme levels of thinness, free of body fat and admired for their prepubescent statures. Due to this, eating disorders are more commonly found in women and the "health/fitness/diet" industry feeds (pun intended) on these insecurities.
The top PornHub category is "Teen". "Barely-legal" "girls" act out father-daughter incest scripts, play off of the "virgin" fantasy, student-teacher stories, etc.
The beauty industry thrives on making sure women are waxed and shaved, from their armpits to legs to pubic regions. Aging is detested and there are a multitude of creams and lotions targeted to fight wrinkles.
Older men began to openly express their interest in me starting at age 14. It was common to get cat-called and lusted over by men who were triple or double my age.
When I was 16 and working at McDonald's, I was sexually harassed by an older man in a beat-up truck while I was working drive-thru. He asked me how old I was and when I told him, his interest grew even more. Even my father's friends would tend to make sexually-suggestive comments when he wasn't around.
I leave you with this question: why does our culture view a 16-year-old girl as more sexually desirable than a full-grown 30-year-old woman?
http://www.feministcurrent.com/2015/09/28/youve-heard-of-rape-culture-but-have-you-heard-of-pedophile-culture/
ReplyDelete(here's a link to the article that I got a majority of my information from)
Normalization or Discrimination?
ReplyDeleteI still cannot figure out how to make a new blog on this site, so here is mine.
One of the hot topics in the last week or so has been the Netflix show 13 Reasons Why and the book it’s based on of the same name. This show covers a multitude of hard issues dealt with by teens in today's society including sexuality.
One of the reasons discussed was one of Hannah’s female friends, Courtney, throwing her under the bus and made her out to be a slut after a picture of the two of them kissing surfaced. Courtney was a lesbian, but was too embarrassed and scared to come out.
This past week, we have talked a lot about Kinsey and the normalization of sex and sexuality into the modern era. If sexuality has truly been normalized though, why was this picture an issue in the show and more importantly, why did it hit so hard for some of the viewers and readers of the book/tv show?
I would argue that although sexuality has been normalized, the lives of the outliers in society has not benefited. The normalization we boast today is a facade to make our society seem forgiving. This normalization of sexuality only makes it a topic okay to talk about and subsequently discriminate against. LGBTQ teens and adults are bullied and pushed over the edge every day in a society that boasts equality and freedom.
Suicide rates among LGBTQ people are shocking, a study found that LGBTQ teens are 14 times more likely to commit suicide than their heterosexual counterparts. The study also found that 30-45% of transgender people have attempted suicide.
These statistics are appalling, to know that in society supposedly built on equality approximately 9 million people are subject to these conditions. What kind of a country are we living in where a good chunk of the LGBTQ population feels like need to kill themselves to escape the torment. 13 Reasons Why illustrates this well when Courtney would rather ruin Hannah’s reputation than own up to it herself and have to endure what would come with it.
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/Gates-How-Many-People-LGBT-Apr-2011.pdf
http://www.healthyplace.com/gender/glbt-mental-health/homosexuality-and-suicide-lgbt-suicide-a-serious-issue/
Okay, it looks like I'll be playing devil's advocate on this one, and things may get a touch personal. You have been warned.
ReplyDeleteThe term "Daddy" is not only used to describe one's father. In fact, "father" is not the only dictionary definition attributed to the word. Daddy can also be defined as "the oldest, best, or biggest example of something." An example of this denotation is describing a large pothole as "the daddy of all potholes". I am not calling the pothole my father. I am saying that’s a pretty impressive pothole.
I freely acknowledge that there are some people in the BDSM world that use the term "Daddy" to be used in incest play (which I personally am not remotely okay with, but what people do in their own bedrooms is none of my business), but this is only a small facet of how the word can be used. It can be used in DD/lg contexts, in which the male is a sort of sexual caretaker. It can be used in the LGBTQ community to describe a male that is intensely attractive/masculine. Now, it is even being used by straight and otherwise "vanilla" people to describe attractive men.
I, personally, do not see the problem. If we go by the second definition of "Daddy" ( the oldest, biggest, or best example of something), then calling one's partner Daddy is really no different than calling them "Sir", "Master", or other terms that have a dominant connotation.
As for the argument that no one calls women a similar term, I have to vehemently disagree. In Hispanic culture, the terms "Mami" and "Mamasita" are thrown around constantly to describe attractive women or women with very feminine figures. In black culture, the term "lil' mama" has been used to describe women in songs for decades. Does anyone remember "Hey there lil' mama, let me whisper in ya ear"? Nicki Minaj had a popular song called "Hey Mama" in which she asked for the man to call her that in bed. I have personally been called "Mama" while getting hit on at Play in Nashville, and I'm whiter than sour cream. How is any of this different than calling a male "Daddy?"
As for the argument that the term is demeaning to women: well, yes. That's the point. Being degraded was a large part of the community that originally used "Daddy" in sexual contexts. Something else that is degrading to women (and men) is the affectionate term “baby”. In the literal context of the word, we are calling the person a squalling infant, something that needs to be taken care of and protected because it is incapable of performing even the simplest of tasks. That sounds fairly demeaning to me, and yet the general population is completely fine with it. If we can call our partner’s “baby” without any sort of backlash or accusations of incest or age play, why can’t we do the same with “Daddy”?
People do need to stop considering Daddy as an inherently sexual word. For instance, if an 18 year old girl wants to call her father Daddy, leave her alone and let her call him whatever she wants. That's unnecessary language policing and it's not okay.
However, if a person that is capable of consent wants to call their partner "Daddy", or "Mama", or anything under the sun, really, leave them alone and let them call them whatever they want. That's still unnecessary language policing and it's still not okay.
The "Daddy" subject is one that is currently vexing our society. Is it okay for a woman to call her significant other daddy, or is it a perversion that modern society has begun to normalize? Is the daddy dom archetype potentially harmful to those who engage in this sexual act, or is it completely benign. Is it normal for a man to want to be called daddy? As our friend Alfred Kinsey found, many acts that were previously considered deviant were much more commonplace than originally thought. Partially through this research, normalcy became individualized, meaning that there is no one true definition of normal. As soon as normal acts are expanded to include formerly abnormal acts, all one has done is created a new abnormal. So whether you find the desire to be called daddy arousing or disturbing, it is the right of every person to individually define what they believe to be normal in the bedroom, within the extent of the law. Having said that, the daddy dom fetish does have a remarkable potential to be harmful if not properly discussed between participants. When carrying out a fetish such as this one, it is vital that ground rules and safe words are set before hand. Any time someone participates in this fetish, it is important that they feel safe and comfortable, especially if they are acting as the submissive partner. While some submissive partners may enjoy this fetish because they want to be degraded, it is important that they are able to bring a halt to the act if they begin to feel uncomfortable. Some men enjoy the feeling of having authority, of being a dominant figure, especially in the bedroom; however, it is important to know where to draw the line and when to stop doing what you're doing. As soon as the submissive partner begins to feel uncomfortable and says the safe word, it doesn't matter who you are, you stop what you're doing and provide reassurance. As long as ground rules are set and followed, then the potentially harmful affects of this daddy dom culture can very easily be avoided.
ReplyDelete