Why is it that lesbianism
is acceptable in most cases especially by males but not homosexuality? Why do
males find it hot or sexy when two women kiss but not when two men do? Possibly because of the way they are raise
and taught? I know by experience I was taught to not ever kiss another boy that
it was wrong. I was always told that when I saw two guys kiss that it was disgusting.
Both occasions were done acted by my parents, mainly my father. My point is
that the way we are taught while being raised affects how we act when we are
older. Although by personal experience once I came to college and got away from
home, I slowly began to think about things myself. Therefore, my views changed
as I got away from my parents and didn’t rely on them as much. Today if I saw
two gay men kissing it wouldn’t affect me the way it did when I was young,
although I wouldn’t prefer to see that still or think it’s hot.
Another reason I think straight males think when two
women kiss its hot is that two women are better than one to some men. I do not
think it’s because they are secretly gay because if they were secretly gay I’d
think they would be repulsed by watching two women make out. However, I have
never heard a straight woman say it’s hot when two gay men kiss or make out.
Most women I know they like gay men as friends to hangout with or to shop with,
not watch make out. Some people may argue well “men are men” but what does that
exactly mean? Not all men find it hot or sexy when women make out or kiss. So
that argument is false and out of the picture.
Another reason I think straight males find it how or sexy
when two women kiss is because they can relate to wanting to be intimate with a
woman. Even if they can’t relate in the same way as a woman who’s into other
women, on a basic level they can still relate. When a straight man sees two
women being intimate with each other, it’s almost they can doubly relate because,
provided they’re both attractive, men can relate to the appeal each woman has
for the other. So, if a man is watching porn, he may enjoy lesbian porn because
he simply does not want to see a naked man. However, I still find myself trying
to figure out why most men find it sexy and hot when two women kiss or make
out.
Although Western society overall condemns homosexuality, it is true that there seems to be much more of a tolerance for female homosexuality than male homosexuality. While I agree that lesbianism seems to be a more socially-acceptable form of homosexuality, I think it is also important to state the possible larger cultural reasons behind this sentiment. I believe that there is greater tolerance for lesbianism when it presents a sort of eroticism to the viewer, but still operates within Western standards of beauty and femininity. The way in which we view masculinity and femininity is particularly important for understanding the eroticism attached to lesbianism, as the same type of eroticism is not typically attached with depictions of male homosexuality. Our interpretations of beauty and our interpretations of masculine and feminine norms is what ultimately contribute towards the “acceptance” of lesbianism.
ReplyDeleteI think it is important to point out that the viewing of lesbian acts as pleasurable or erotic is not the same as being accepting of lesbianism or homosexuality. In actuality, lesbianism might be a more acceptable form of homosexuality due to the common perception that women that engage in lesbian relationships are still likely to engage in heterosexual relationships as well. This goes back to how society views masculine and feminine ideals, particularly to how rigid our understanding of these ideals is. While masculinity has rigidly decisive qualities, femininity is often more relaxed and open to interpretation. Masculine ideals, therefore, do not accept male homosexuality due to the fact that homosexual males do not “fit” the rigid standards of masculinity. While this is a harsh interpretation of masculine ideals, it also shows the greater importance that the masculine ideal holds over the feminine ideal; masculinity is not allowed to be challenged because the qualities of a masculine male are so revered in Western society, but feminine ideals may be changed due to their lesser status of importance. While lesbianism might be viewed as taboo and erotic, male homosexuality is only representative of a deviation from the masculine ideal, and is therefore not typically pleasurable for heterosexual women to view in the way that lesbianism is pleasurable for heterosexual men.
Aside from the cultural views on masculinity and femininity, lesbianism may be more tolerated due to the fact that lesbian porn is often catered to uphold the Western standards of feminine beauty. “Typical” lesbian porn usually depicts two or more women that are standardly beautiful. This not only makes lesbian porn seem more aesthetically pleasing, it also tends to give the impression that these women are actually heterosexual, yet engaging in lesbianism purely for the erotic experience. While heterosexuality is obviously not expressed through the sexual acts, using women that perpetuate the standards of Western beauty means that they are also implied to be heterosexual, as beautiful, feminine women are thought to be operating within their normal gender roles, and therefore probably operate within their normal sexuality and sexual identity roles as well. Although these represent only a few theories as to why lesbianism seems to be tolerated much more than male homosexuality, I hope these theories add some insight and can be used to gain a deeper understanding of Western views on sexuality.
This post brings up an important observation that provides insight into how our perceptions of each gender affect our perceptions of same-sex relationships. As you discussed, this is not the black-and-white issue that many people believe it to be.
ReplyDeleteIt’s interesting that you open by pointing to the “acceptance” of lesbian relationships, especially by men, because this is often a common perception throughout our society. However, I would argue that it’s not more accepted or tolerated than relationships between gay men, but it is more sexualized. Women in same-sex relationships or engaging in same-sex activity are highly objectified by straight men, who view their sexuality as an erotic experience for themselves. Men’s interest in watching two women kiss has less to do with their views on homosexuality, and much more to do with how men are taught to view women as sexual objects in general.
This can also relate to how, in the Victorian era, female friendships were almost expected to be somewhat romantic in nature. We as a society are taught that women are allowed to be close to their friends and are not afraid of expressing their emotions for one another, while friendships between men must not become too emotional or even platonically physical or else it could cross into gay territory. This is an example of why women in a same-sex relationship can often hold hands or express other forms of affection in public without being easily noticed, while that kind of contact between men is an immediate sign of something out of the “norm”.
I think that your point about how you believe straight men enjoy watching women engage in same-sex activity because they can relate to it corresponds more to pornography than men’s acceptance of lesbian relationships. I don’t think that men watch lesbian pornography because they can relate to a woman’s sexual desire of another woman, but because, as you said, the rigid codes of masculinity can sometimes prevent enjoyment when watching another naked man. You point out in your blog that men enjoy lesbian porn, “provided they’re both attractive”, and this is another glaring example of how it’s not that men enjoy and approve of relationships between queer women, but that the women are engaging in this activity solely for the man’s enjoyment. Men only find lesbian activity “hot” if the women subscribe to feminine gender roles and don’t look “too” gay.
In general, I am glad that you brought up this topic and I agree with the concepts behind some of your points. I hope I provided a different perspective that expands your view of this issue.